Your First Angel Day....

January 29th, 2006 One year ago I told you to go to Jesus.. How do you tell your baby to do that???? How do you let go of your best friend??? How do you accept your buddy will not be with you in body anymore??? How do feel??? How do breath??? How do you think??? How do you fuction?? How do you go on??? Why is this happening??? Why my baby???? How could this be happening??? What am I going to do??? These are just a few of the questions I had/have.. There are no real answers yet... I keep breathing. Sometimes it is hard. I can tell you the pain in my chest will never go away. I think about you all the time. I sometimes think you are going to come home. I know you won't in body. I think you are here in spirit helping me. It all seems so sureal!!! I hate it without you.

We had a party for you on your Angel Day.. Josh, Aaron, and Candice came over.. and the whole damn family came too!!! :) It was a BIG BASH in your memory. I am sure you were here playing pool with guys in the living room.. or was that you chasing the freakin' loud kids around the yard. hahahaha We all miss you... More than words can descibe.

Loving You Every Minute of Every Day - Mom

Christmas....

Well..... Where do I start... Christmas .. Wow... Ken got the tree out and even set it up!!! I am sure you were laughing your butt off!! The girls and I put up the decorations.. I made them sit on the floor in the dark with me, drink eggnog and sing Oh Christmas Tree.. :) I will never forget all the years it was just you and me... That first year.. haha that little tree in our little 700 sq ft apartment. ahhahaha I loved sharing a room with you.. living in a toy box... hahahaha I did my cards this year.. Love the picture?? I know you were here with us.. Grandma Judy, Papa Bruce and Justin came for Christmas. Justin stayed in your room. I didn't think you would mind. We went shopping and went to all the stores you loved.. I know you were with me.. I couldn't have done it without you!!! They had a ceremony at the cemetary and the girls got to participate.. hahaha we thought they were going to burn down the building!! hahahahaha I could hear you telling them to pay attention... I did good until the starting singing Silent Night.. That put me over the edge... Well you Dad did a great job decorating your niche' on Christmas!! No one except your Dad can even image how hard that day was. I miss you sooooooooooo much!!!!!!! You are always my pumpkin!!
Love,
Mom