The Road and Journey.....

Hey Nick,

Sorry it has been so long since I have written... I talk to you everyday... A lot has transpired and life has taken some roads I never thought could happen... First the Good News. :) Melissa has been talking to and about you more and more... I got a call from her school counselor and she told me Melissa was in need of more grief counseling and she gave me some names. I called and one of them had a camp for kids and I signed them and myself up. Ken had to work. The girls had a GREAT time and we have been attending the follow up sessions and it has been GREAT for us all. The girls and I made some great new friends that can understand us and we can talk too!! That is so important for them!!!

We went to Eli's graduation on May 25th... it was so awesome to see him graduate. I MISSED YOU more than you can imagine... hard, torcher, sad, are just a few words to descibe the feelings I kept feeling through the ceremony.. I talked to your dad yesterday and he went to Cody's graduation that same night... I asked him how he did and he said it was better than he thought it was going to be.. We will all be at Sandra Day O'Conner next year. It is a hurdle we will make it through. It is so hard my buddy...

Well on to the other news... Ken told me on Easter that he didn't love me anymore.. WOW that was hard. I didn't have a clue.... I offered to do anything to keep our family together.. That was hard for me... but harder for your sisters. He stayed here 2 weeks and told me he really wanted to leave. We were going to both go to counciling and go from there.. The next day he told me there was someone else..... and within a week she left her husband and one of her kids and they moved in together. WOW.... that was rough... He told me that he had given me a year to get over you... hahahahahaha WOW.... I will NEVER get over you... I have learned to accept that I cannot change what happened but I will ALWAYS and FOREVER love you and keep your memories alive. YOU are my child. NOTHING will ever make your life here with me and our family disappear. The girls and I will be okay.... I will take care of them and we will work through this. Please help Melissa as she is still soooooo broken hearted over you.. and now this.... She is so precious to me.. I know you are watching over her... Did you see her hanging all over Eli today.. hahahaha She misses her big brother sooooo much!! It makes me cry to see her hurt. I tryed to move your room around (I didn't think you would mind.. hahaha) and Melinda let me have it.. hahahaha sooooo back to the way it was.. hahaha They miss you and so do I and so many more.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day and we will be at the cemetery at 9:15... We are ready to change those flowers!!! hahaha I love you my sweet boy... I promise I will never get over you... but always keep you in my heart for every minute of my life. You were my flesh and blood.. how exactly is one supposed to get over that??? I don't know.. and never will. Kiss Kiss my sweet angel boy....

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER AND MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY
Mom......