Nick on TV Tonight
Hey Nickster!!! It is almost time to see you on TV... I am so thankful the word is getting out there!!! I miss you more than words... I would give anything to have seen a show on this before you left me.. I wish I would have known... I hope other parents see it and it saves another childs life.... I hope a kid see it and sees that it KILLS people.. I know you would not have played if you would have totally understood this.. To me the rest of my life is a sentence without you... I love our family .... but I miss you more than words can describe.. my heart hurts .... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
LOVE MOMMY
posted by Michele...Nick's Mom @ 8:41 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Dear Michele, I am writing to you tonight with full understanding and empathy for your pain and grief. I to share that empty, painful hole you have in your heart, that ache that never goes away. I lost my precious son Jon on September 10, 2007, and had just celebrated his 18 birthday. Jon was also engaging in the deadly choking game. He had walked in the bathroom at school and observed several of his wrestling buddies playing, they encouraged him to try it. its cool they told him. Jon and I were extremely close, like you and your son Nick, we had faced some tough times together. You see, Jon was born with a severe cleft lip and no palate and had underwent over 10 major facial reconstructive surgeries. He also had some learning disabilities due to trauma during birth. But he was a overcomer and never gave up. He accomplished so many things that at birth and in his early years we were told he may never accomplish. He was a hard worker, God had given him a awsome personality. He was so funny and fun loving a real joker, super friendly, he knew no strangers, he always saw the best in everybody. His heart was so big and full of love. I know he did not fully understand the remifications of the choking game, he did not realize it could be deadly,the boys did not tell him that they played in groups, he was all alone in our basement. He had come home from weight training practice that afternoon, gave me a big hug and kiss and asked me "What's for dinner mom"? Then he asked me if I would make twice baked patatoes with the steak, he then ate a snack and said he ws going outside to shot a few hoop. I went upstairs, talked on the phone a few minutes and when I came down could not find him. I thought he may have gone for a run (which he did everyday) or had fallen asleep.
We live in a 2 story house with a unfinished basement. After checkinmg around the house, thinking that he had just gone off to a friends, I never even went down into the basement, Jon only went down there when he was going to lift weights, he had a bench and weights down there and because he had weight training after school I just thought he'd gone out and would be back before dinner. After about 30 minutes, calling his cell phone with no answer I had this overwelming thought that maybe he had gone to the back of the basement and didn't hear me call. I went down , I didn't see him at first but just as I went around the corner of the back room of the basement I found him. I can not put into words the horror and disbelief., as I started screaming I somehow was able to realease Jon and cradle him in my arms. I started CPR even though I knew it was to late, (I was a nurse for 30 years and worked parttime up until the night we lost Jon] I was all alone in the house, I had to run upstairs and get the phone and call 911. I held Jon in my arms, until the police knocked down the back door to the basement and pulled me off of my son. Everything still seems like a nightmare, I still have a hard time believing the obvious devestation in my life. The plice, paremedics, social workers, detectives so many people. My husband was on his way home from work and had picked up my youngest son David they had no idea what was going on when they pulled up into the driveway. It was supposed to be a normal night, dinner, helping Jon with his homework. he and David had planned on watching there favorite show"The Office". Suddenley without warning our lives would never be the same. Nothing made sense, we were all in shock, we had to all stay outside while the police checked the house. We were told later that they had to rule out homocide, they seached Jons room, they could find nothing unusual. At first the police indicated suicide, but We knew there was no way. It was not until days later that we learned of the bathroom incident at school. Jon was a organ donater also, he had it on his drivers license. But, we could not honor his wishes, it was to late for his organs. Most days, I still spend crying in bed, I have a hard time getting out of bed. Tonight is the first time I have beeen able to go to this site, I have shared jons story with other grieving parents I met at a community parent breavment group. My parents and I wrote a article for there church newsletter at First Baptist Church Orlando, Fla. it was mailed to over 10,000 family membership. It told Jon's story and about the dangers of the choking game. But, I would like to start a blog like yours, I am not the most computer savy person, so I will have to find some help. Jon was an active member of our church youth group, he was a born again christian, accepting Jesus as his Savior at age 8. I believe that we will be reunited in heaven were we will spend eternity together,. It's just that eternity is not soon enough, I miss him so much, my life feels empty without him, I was his mother His biggest advicate, I always took care of him, and I failed him. he was my great joy. I am so proud of the person he was, I am so thankful for the 18 years I had him here on earth. But I am also so angry at God for allowing him to be taken from me and the world. Over 600 young people came to Jons services the kids were lined up around our church building twice. Principles, teachers, coaches, parents of Jon's friends, acquances, so many there to tell us what Jon meant to them, of the impact he had on there lives, of how much they loved and respected him as a person of his character. I know my son accomplished much more in his 18 years than most do in a lifetime and his legacy will continue though all those that knew and loved him. When I saw the pictures you have of your handsome son Nick, he so reminded me of Jon the twinkle in his eyes and the big smile I wanted to contact you and share my story and ask you to communicate with me other ways you have found to live day by day with your grief, aslo ways in which I to can educate young people, parents, teachers and my community here in Street, Maryland(30 miles north of Baltimore, MD.) I wish for you and all of us on this jounrney we have been forced to travel God's peace and the comfort of knowing our kids lives have not been in vain buy will impact others for generations to come. I hope to hear from you. A fellow traveler and friend. Joy T. Wilson "Jon's mom".
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